Riding with Eddie

We had the funniest thing happen to us on our ride today. It reminds me of a favorite movie scene. First I'll tell you about the scene, and then I'll tell you what happened...

There is a very famous scene from American Flyers about practicing bike sprints. The dialogue goes something like this...

Sarah: What are you guys going to do today?
Marcus: I thought we'd do a few sprints with Eddie.
Sarah: Be careful, David, Eddie's a real son of a bitch.
David: Who's Eddie?
Marcus: Sarah's right. He's a real son of a bitch.
David: Well why are we gonna go ride with him?
Marcus: Cuz he a good sprinter and I need to work on my sprint. I've got a big race comin' up.

...David and Marcus are riding along a country road, going past a house....

Marcus: Eddie!!! [Whistles] You comin'?! Eddie!!!
David: Aren't we gonna wait?
Marcus: [laughing] He'll catch us!...Here he comes!

...Pitt Bull going WARP SPEED toward them...

David: That's Eddie?!
Marcus: [laughing] That's him!
David: You son of a BITCH!

...Pitt Bull is biting David's ankle and leg as David is spinning for all he is worth to get away...

Marcus: Look out!!! Shift down!!!
David: Dog, get away!!! OWE!!! Dog!!! ...

The dog bites Dave's foot and takes his shoe off and runs away.

David: Oh...the shoe! Marcus, he ATE my SHOE!!! We've gotta go back. He took the -- On second thought, do YOU wanna go back?!
Marcus: [laughing his ass off].
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So that's the movie scene. Today, Seth and I were mountain biking at Banner Park near Port Orchard, Washington. It is really fun, with a lot of tight, technical single track trails. But it is also sort of confusing, and we are just getting to know the place. At one point, we popped out onto a road. We stopped to talk about where we thought we were, and to discuss where to go next. I suggested that we ride up the road a bit and then take the next trail that went back into the forest.

There was a house about 20 yards away, with two dogs in they yard, one of which was a BIG yellow dog that looked like it weighed about 110 lbs. They started barking, and then the big yellow thing started to make a B-line for us. Seth and I looked at each, wide eyed, and I yelled that we should ride up the road. Seth is terrified of dogs (I'll save THAT story for the end). He was already GONE, and this thing was closing on me fast. I haven't had an adrenaline rush like that since Airborne training!!! I decided that I didn't have time to get going up the road, and that it was most likely going to go after Seth on the open road, so I wanted to get my butt back into the forest. I whipped my bike around and I was peddling for all I was worth. I figured that most dogs will stop at the property line. NOT THIS ONE!!! Seth said that he was streamlined in an all-out-sprint toward me. He was barring his teeth and the hair on his spine was on end. I looked over my shoulder and saw that he was ripping up the trail after me!!!! EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now they say that memory is distorted under stress, but I'd swear that this is exactly what that dog looked like. :) That thing was gunning for me, and I was sure that I was going to have to fight the thing off. So I jumped off my bike and put it between me and it, got as big as I could, and screamed at the top of my lungs and in the meanest voice I could, "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Fortunately for me, the thing backed off and went home. I didn't even have time to pick up a tree branch to defend myself. My plan was to hit him in the head hard with my bike.

Some of you may be asking, "Where was Seth after seeing this vicious dog going after his wife?" lmao...

There are a couple of very funny things about this. First, I thought the dog would not follow me into the forest, and would instead go after Seth on the road, so this was a bit of instant Karma, if you ask me. :) Second, Seth has a morbid fear of dogs. His dad loves to tell a story of when Seth was about 10 years old. His dad was in the house, and Seth was outside playing. His dad heard a blood curdling scream, and he ran outside to see what was going on. Seth was running as fast as he could down the street and screaming, because there was like a tiny little poodle running after him. It probably had pink ribbons in its ears. To this day, he is very afraid of dogs. He claims that he didn't hear what I said, but the noise I made sounded like I had been attacked. He "really wanted to help me, but thought it would agitate the dog more to sandwich it on the trail." Hahaha. It's a good thing it came after me and I handled it, huh?!?!

That was one of the funniest things that has ever happened to me. I was peddling for all I was worth, bouncing over rocks and roots, going up a super steep hill, feeling like I was in slow motion, while this thing was gaining on me and there was nothing I could do about it. :) I just kept thinking about Eddie, and I couldn't stop laughing (which made it even worse, because you lose all energy when you laugh), even though I thought my face was about to get ripped off. I'm still laughing. :)

We are going to go back and get a picture of the bugger (FROM INSIDE THE TRUCK!!!!!).

We decided to concoct a martini in Eddie’s honor. It is called an Eddie Tini. I seriously think it should be a food group, it’s so darn good! You actually EAT it, there is so much texture (and several GRAMS of fiber). Here is the recipe:

1 whole kiwi (skinned alive!)
1 part Absolute Citron
2 parts Malibu Coconut Rum
2 parts Midori

Put ingredients in blender and blend. Pour into martini shaker with several WHOLE ice cubes. Shake until ice cold. Remove ice cubes, and pour into favorite martini glasses.

This is our sweet “Martini-Making Station.”

These glasses were given to us from my Dad. You cannot see it, but they are crystal, with an etched fly fisherman in them. He got them at a store in Frisco, Colorado near his mountain house.

Too much fun.

"Eddie!!!! You comin'?!?! Eddie!!!!"